They know.

Categorized a morning person, my morning routine is fairly basic.

Get up. Visit the bathroom. Grab a sweater (for some reason my house is always cold in the morning). Make my way to the coffee pot. Grind the beans. Put the coffee on. Open the drapes to the backyard to the let the sunshine in. Say hello to dog.

Whoa. Back up. Where’d that dog come from???

If you know me well – and chances are if you’re reading this you do – you know that I own no pets. Not a pet girl. At all.

But for some reason my backyard becomes from time to time a holding pen for all the neighbors’ pets. There was the Annoying Pomeranian. There was the Dachshund/Chihuahua mix. There’s Miller the Mutt (don’t even get me started on how he probably got that name. Let's just say I find a few beer bottles lingering in my yard every now and then!) There was also the snake, the turtle, the black cat. And let’s don’t forget the Dead Crow…which after a period of three days apparently went through some kind of resurrection and decided to finally live a new life elsewhere.

In any case, when I pulled back my curtain this morning and there found Minnie (Yep, that's Minnie on the left. Took a picture just for proof!), a scene or two from the Gilmore Girls flooded my memory.

Like me, Lorelai is going through her own morning routine, opening the front door to get her newspaper when she is perturbed to find a cat sitting on the porch. She dials the phone:

Rory: "Hello?"
Lorelai: "They know."
Rory: "Who knows?"
Lorelai: "The cats. They know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady."
(More crazy lines I can’t keep up with)
Lorelai: "I give up. I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth."
Rory: "Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go."
(Later that same morning, Lorelai talking to Luke)
Lorelai: “She’s trying to set me up with Shel the poultry guy? Why would she do that? I’ve just broken up with someone.”
Luke: “Yeah.”
Lorelai: “We’ve been dating for a few months now.”
Luke: “I figured there was someone in the picture.”
Lorelai: “You did? How?”
Luke: “Just clues, you know. You never dress weather appropriate. That kind of thing.”
Lorelai: “Well, I can bundle on up now. Cats came to my house today. Cause they know I’m a loser and I’m destined to be alone.”
Luke: “You’re not destined to be alone. You have Shel.”
Lorelai: “Why is it so hard?’
Luke: “What? Relationships? Look who you’re asking.”
Lorelai: “At least you got married.”
Luke: “At least you had a kid.”
Lorelai: “Yeah. It makes me sad sometimes. Does it make you sad?”
Luke: “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Lorelai: “I see Dr. Phil books in our future.”
Luke: “Unless they stock ‘em at Home Depot they’re not likely to cross my path.”

Personally, I’ve always felt that these pets just merely see my backyard as a vacation hot spot from their own dull homes. Something like, the Aruba of the Animal world, I suppose. (Maybe Aruba’s not such a good reference.) But thinking of Lorelai this morning, I’m beginning to wonder: Is my backyard less a meaningless diversion for these mammal misfits and more a cautionary sign that it’s time to pull out the oversized flowered muumuu, start clipping coupons, and move the social life to Furr’s???