Packing up is hard to do

Well, I’m taking a pause from a day of packing. Actually, I have about 2½ weeks until I move so I’ve been trying to figure out how to slowly pack what little in my house is left to my name. My garage sale of a couple weeks ago cleaned me out of my junk as much as it did my furniture and so there’s really not much left that couldn’t be packed in probably a week’s unhurried time.

Because I haven’t wanted to sit in a houseful of boxes for the last 3 weeks, I’m trying to pace myself. Within the last several days I’ve packed all of my books which are also conveniently catalogued online. I also catalogued my DVDs online as I packed them just because I was in the zone. I thought that was a good if not easy place to start my packing…but when the books came off the shelves it immediately felt less warm and more temporary. I’m not sure why, but there’s something about books to me that create home, you know?

In any case, as much as it feels weird to be officially putting what’s left of my life into moving boxes, I’m looking forward to the next stage of life…murky as it still is. For now, my plan is to move to an old haunt from my childhood which is a town about 2 hours from where I currently live. “What happened to Florida?” you’re probably wondering. Well, those plans fell through and newer ones came to the surface in the last month. My parents, having been through some major job transitions since February, are actually moving back to Oklahoma. In doing so, they are going to move into the house that I lived in the first 11 years of my life (which has been a rent house for the last 20+ years). And I am going to move in with them and help them do a major remodel for the next several months before looking for a job.

Why the new change? Well, there are a number of reasons, but the primary and most motivating one is healing. Over the last six months I have realized that I need some time to heal from some definite wounds of the heart and spirit that have come over the last nine years of being in ministry. Over the years I’ve watched a number of the hurt and wounded go from one church or ministry to the other never really dealing with the blows they’ve taken. In so doing, unknown or unseen to themselves, they enter a new ministry or church setting and do a lot of damage because they haven’t taken the time (or maybe they just haven’t realized they need that time) to heal sufficiently.

As I looked at a number of different options, I realized that woman could very easily be me. If I don’t take some time to heal up, I could very well be that woman who just brings her old garbage with her to the next location, you know?

So, for now, I’m taking what I’m calling a Life Sabbatical. I’m not setting any necessary goals other than to put my heart in strategic places for healing. What those places look like yet, I’m not sure. For now, the first step into this is to be around family for awhile and serve them. Hopefully jobs, paychecks, spiritual community, and life purpose will fall into place in time.