Over the last several months this has become a space where I have been able to sit down on this journey, pour a cup of coffee and sort through the pieces of my heart. As well, it has caused me to remember the value and place of laughter in my life as much as my need to communicate. And, it has become a place of community and rest during a time when my soul has been most desperate for it. Welcome to my little corner of the world. Read on and offer your own thoughts if you like.
posted by Blythe Lane @ 3:41 PM
Currently entering into a transitionary stage of life. The greatest enjoyment for me is getting others to think more deeply about their relationship with Christ and how it impacts every other area of their lives. An equally driving passion is my love for coffee and the deep conversations that ensue over a really good cup of it. (In the market for the best coffee ever? Visit Gloria Jean's. Might I recommend the Carmel Nut.)
11 Comments:
Oh my, I just finished reading this article several minutes ago. I must process. As I read the first half I just kept thinking, "Has this women been following me around and writing my life?" Her feelings when asked the questions so resonated with my heart. I have felt those things.
And her conversation with the older man, I felt as though he was talking to me, I actually cried, yes...really tears for several min. What tender words.
Lots to think about. I will comment later about the conclusion of the article when I have had some time to process.
Wow.
By
Heather, at
February 23, 2006 6:28 PM
Okay - I'm laughing a little. Go check out my blog... :-) I think this particular article struck several of us to the core.
We have GOT to all get together and have coffee. We got a blog community going. I want to sit around a table and laugh and cry!
By
Jill Pole, at
February 23, 2006 7:15 PM
Something I posted on Jill's blog earlier was that I'd like to read this book. What would it look like to have an online book club? Is it silly? Doable? Would it meet a need?
By
Blythe Lane, at
February 23, 2006 7:32 PM
I read the article, and while it raised some really good points, I just can't agree with the word suffering being used to describe the state of singleness. Lonely, depressed, sad, frustrated - ok. But suffering? No. I've suffered through some things in life, and singleness wouldn't even make the list. I can kind of see what the writer was trying to say, but if you count being single as the extent of your suffering, then you are truly blessed. There are much worse things.
On a lighter note, when I'm inevitably asked "Why aren't you married?", I usually reply: "Well, I could have any girl I please. I just have to please one first."
By
Eaglewing, at
February 24, 2006 4:27 AM
Hey Eaglewing, we've never splogen (blog-spoken...lol), but I want to share what I see and wonder when I read your comment. This is just a thought or perspective to ponder...What if you allowed yourself to see your singleness as something worthy of being called suffering? Could the place where you put your "measuring bar" for suffering tell you something about how you perceive "pleasing others" and handling their disappointment? I would love to hear a guy's perspective on this, and you seem to be the kind of guy who could wrap his mind and heart around this question...what do you think?
By
alethea, at
February 24, 2006 8:37 AM
Well, Alethea, I clicked on your name and viewed your blogger profile but saw no link to a blog, so I'll post this here and hope Blythe Lane doesn't mind.
I can wrap my head around people viewing their singleness, or state thereof, as suffering. It just seems to me that if that is the way you're looking at it, there may be a possibility (and it's different in every case) that the view is too internal. If the single person is truly alone, as in no friends, no family members, nobody period, then that is suffering. Everyone needs a human touch (nods to Springsteen :). However, you can live a well rounded, productive, happy life even when you're single and be involved in, and make a difference in, many peoples lives.
I've watched a family member fight through cancer. That's suffering. Personally, I've survived Meniere's Disease, dialysis, and a kidney transplant. All of which pretty much forced me to not even be able to consider singleness as suffering. I couldn't even attempt to change my single status if I had wanted to, as I didn't have the time or energy to properly devote to it. And I believe that if you going to involve yourself in someone else's life and heart and them in yours, you better have the time and energy to pour yourself into it and do it right. I'm not about to do something that important halfway. I'm doing ok now, but that status can change with the wind, and I'm alone and I'm fine with that as the window of opportunity passed me by. I've got great friends and family and that's good enough. If God decided to put someone in my life in an attempt to change things, it'd be an interesting challenge (and I'm always up for a challenge :), but I'm not actively looking and I don't feel like I'm suffering. I just thank God I'm alive.
What I'm trying to say I guess, is that in the greater scheme of things, there are things so much worse than being single. And when those things start happening to you, you quickly realize that worrying about your single status is a not where the fight is at. I'm not trying to make anyone feel less for feeling like they're suffering in a state of being single. I know from experience that whatever darkness you're fighting at the time looks and feels like suffering, and no one should demean that. If it's serious to you in that moment, then it's serious period. But I've also learned that there is always a worse scenario around the corner, and if it happens, you'll be wishing you were back to your previous state of personal suffering, even though you thought it was bad at the time.
Maybe I'm splitting hairs on the meaning of the word. All I'm saying is, that maybe accepting the state you're in, getting out of your own head and looking outward can be just as rewarding. However bad your personal suffering is, there is always someone who has it worse, and maybe instead of thinking we're suffering through something we should just stand back a bit and thank God for all the other ways He's blessed us and trust Him to provide a change in our state of being if that's what is in the cards. And if it's not, that's ok too.
I don't know - that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
By
Eaglewing, at
February 24, 2006 3:09 PM
Eaglewing...thanks for the heartfelt and thoughtful response. I know we would get something amazing from you. Thanks for providing us with your perspective! I'm still curious about the idea of why some people (women?) are hard to please. Perhaps a dia-blog for another time!
By
alethea, at
February 24, 2006 4:49 PM
The "please one first" retort is just a self-depracating sarcastic joke. It doesn't necessarily mean women are hard to please (though they obviously can be :), it means I'm not good at it. It usually just makes people laugh and leave me alone on the subject of marriage, that's all.
It may make an intering blog post though...hmmm, wheels starting to turn :)
By
Eaglewing, at
February 24, 2006 5:26 PM
Hi Original!
Welcome to my little corner. Thanks for your words. You've touched on some things about singleness and suffering that I am currently in the process of putting into words myself. I started writing a comment back and it turned into a blog! So, there should be an entry coming soon. Thanks for offering your input. It is very similar to my own opinion.
By
Blythe Lane, at
February 25, 2006 9:07 AM
A couple of thoughts...
"So Why Aren't You Married?"...The book excerpt was very well written. Although it was from a female perspective, I could relate to much of it.
Singleness...I agree with The Original LRU. I had initially thought the Pr 13:12 was in reference to a comment I had left on a friend's blog--quickly realized it was not. Regardless, it's a great verse and one that you analyzed well.
By
The Bearded, at
February 27, 2006 4:14 PM
The Bearded,
Thanks for sharing. I had no idea that one small post could offer such diablog! Thanks for stopping in.
By
Blythe Lane, at
February 27, 2006 8:22 PM
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