Beautiful Day

Sunny.
High near 80.
Favorite flops.
Now those are some happy feet.

Desire Wide Open

Today I was thinking through and praying for some different desires for the upcoming year that have been tugging at my heart. As I was offering them up to the Lord, I found myself a little tentative. I was reminded of Isaiah 55: 8-9 where the Lord tells us that His ways are not often our ways and His thoughts not often our own. As I thought about this, I wondered, why offer my desires at all? Why not just keep them to myself, never owning my desires if they maybe aren’t His for me?

That reminds me of something I heard Tullah muse about recently as I rewatched My Big Fat Greek Wedding: “I wish I had a different life. I wish I was braver and prettier…or just happier. But it’s useless to dream because nothing ever changes.” Of course, just as she offers that thought, the music changes and through the window we see John Corbett (“the Beautiful”). Tullah’s life is about to change beyond her imagination!

Tullah’s heart expressed reminds me of my own struggle to own up to desire in my life…feeling that it’s useless to dream because experience has taught me that when dreams don’t materialize, it hurts. I’m not in a hurting place at this point in my life although there have been some circumstances recently that have been deeply painful. Rather, as a result of the circumstances I find myself dreaming again. It’s the being open to the desire once again that kind of scares me…feels vulnerable and risky. And yet, it feels good.

And so, rather than kill desire for the sake of saving myself from deep pain, I find myself today praying for His eyes to see desire answered rather than cling to my version of it…

This calls for some disciplinary action...

New Fun Coffee Mug #56 has been banished to the dirty dishes side of the sink today.

Today I was spending some extended time with the Lord. I was going through my normal routine of settling into my chair and ottoman and I sat Fun Coffee Mug #56 (filled with freshly brewed HOT coffee) on the arm. I would just like to add, every fun coffee mug has same privilege and has never had any problem sitting demurely by my side. Fun Coffee Mug #56, however, was not so diffident. Just as I settled in and neatly tucked my favorite lap blanket around me, Fun Coffee Mug #56 dumped entire contents of HOT coffee down the left side of my arm and leg.

Hmmfph.

Fun Coffee Mug #56 can sit in the dirty dishes side of the sink and think about what she’s done.

Word Picture

I got this idea from Jill and couldn't pass it up. I have a huge affinity for words if you haven't already figured this out! It originates from a site called Snap Shirts which searches your blog and generates a "word cloud." Kind of fun.

Is singleness a legitmate means of suffering?

The decision to bring one more thought to the singleness and suffering table came from a recent comment posted by a new visitor to my little corner. I was going to let it go, but because he touched on some things about singleness and suffering that I am currently in the process of putting into words myself, I began to write a comment that was turning into a blog! So, I thought it might be better for all to see.

Before I go any farther, in the case of the suffering being legitimate to singles, let me clarify who we are not talking about:

We are not talking about the single person who before God has no heart desires for marriage or family.

There are some people who legitimately have none of those desires. I would venture to say that for them, singleness is not suffering.

In order to understand this better, let’s look at Prov. 13:12, brought to the table by our new visitor:

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

In the Hebrew, hope deferred has the idea of affliction that comes as a result of actively being drawn or lifted out; being dragged along (like a person roped to the back of a truck and being dragged along). When hope or expectation or desire is a longing unfulfilled (“the heart sick”), this person is bearing a form of suffering or affliction. Adam Clarke offers this commentary on Proverbs 13:12:

When once a good is discovered, want of it felt, strong desire for the possession excited, and the promise of attainment made on grounds unsuspected, so that the reality of the thing and the certainty of the promise are manifest, hope posts forward to realize the blessing. Delay in the gratification pains the mind; the increase of the delay prostrates and sickens the heart; and if delay sickens the heart, ultimate disappointment kills it. But when the thing desired, hoped for, and expected comes, it is a tree of life, ets chaiyim, "the tree of lives;" it comforts and invigorates both body and soul. To the tree of lives, in the midst of the gardens of paradise, how frequent are the allusions in the writings of Solomon, and in other parts of the Holy Scriptures! What deep, and perhaps yet unknown, mysteries were in this tree!

I think most of us have a picture in our heads that suffering is a heirarchy of pain/loss...kind of a "rock, paper, scissors" thing –

• broken arm trumps paper cut
• love lost trumps broken arm
• fighting cancer trumps love lost
• sudden death of a loved one trumps fighting cancer
  

Now, hear me out, those things ARE suffering. I’m just not sure getting caught up in the hierarchy of types of suffering should define what is suffering. And while there certainly are circumstances/pain that some people suffer that are so much harder than singleness, I don’t think it’s necessary to equate it with other forms of suffering to either invalidate it or legitimatize it.

While it’s obvious that I disagree with some of the points made that there is no suffering in singleness, I agree with the comments made that point out a response to suffering. That is what the latter half of Prov. 13:12 speaks to: “…a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Where our longings have found their satisfactions is a tree of life. In all suffering there is a response – how am I going to allow this pain/trauma/hurt/loss, etc to work itself out in my life in such a way that its place in my life transforms me and grows me as a person?

For the believer, I think response to suffering is especially critical! Second Cor. 1:3-7 says,

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so our comfort overflows through Christ. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is experienced in the endurance of the same sufferings that we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that as you share in the sufferings, so you will share in the comfort.

You see, suffering (or affliction as it’s referred to here) is in the life of every person who walks this planet. In the Greek, the word affliction has the idea of “pressing together, pressure” as well as metaphorically or literally, “oppression, affliction, tribulation, distress, straits.” Yes, even hope deferred. What 2 Corinthians is saying here is that all types of suffering enter into everyone’s lives differently. Critical for those who know Christ is:

1. How have they allowed themselves to be comforted by God, the Father of all comfort?
2. How will they use how they’ve been comforted by God to comfort others with the same comfort they’ve received?

As believers, what we’re talking about here is learning to develop a perspective in suffering that enables us to identify with those who either don’t yet know Christ or do know Him but are having a hard time laying hold of His purpose for this event in their lives. Why? Because it was through suffering that Jesus identified with the people He came to die for:

For it was fitting, in bringing many sons to glory, that He, for whom and through whom all things exist, should make the source of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For the One who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. That is why He is not ashamed to call them brothers (Heb. 2:10-11)

Jesus identifies with every human being through suffering. The idea here is humility. It moves us out of the “I’ve arrived” kind of mentality and allows us to be on the same page with those the Lord brings along each of our paths. As ambassadors of Christ (2 Cor. 5:16-21), this is the ministry attitude bestowed upon our lives:

• Jesus identifies with my suffering
  
• Jesus comforts me in this area
  
• Jesus wants to comfort others through me

A question was posed earlier in the discussion,

What if you allowed yourself to see your singleness as something worthy of being called suffering?

That question brings great delight to my heart because I know that my response to the kind of woman I want to be in my singleness is affirming it! If you were to ask me when I was a little girl what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have eagerly responded, “I want to be a wife and a mom.” In college, I thought marriage and family were a given. Since then, there were a couple of significant years where "hope deferred makes the heart sick" was the most glaring thing about me – I was hurt, angry, hopeless. I was a beast for Him (Psalm 73). I felt gypped by God as I sat on the singleness sidelines and watched college students who were getting younger and younger get married and have babies while I only seemed to get older and farther away from seeing that hope realized in my life. Hope deferred made my heart sick. And yet, in all of this, I found myself running to Jesus. Through those times of blatant honesty with Him, He brought comfort to a heart weary in her affliction.

The point to all of this is this: if I had not been going to Jesus during these last 10 years since college with all of my unfulfilled longing laid open before Him AND if I had not allowed myself to be truly comforted by Him, I would have missed the opportunities He’s given to comfort many others who’ve wrestled with similar heart afflictions!

Does this change the fact that my single heart longs for marriage and family? No way! Does this change the way I view Christ in my life and the ministry He lays across my path? You better believe it. For the single, hope deferred can be such a tree of life – living with these unfulfilled desires in a way that brings Christ center stage and reveals that our satisfaction comes from Him.

That’s what I want my life to be known by…that’s the kind of woman I want to be – one that lives life fully in face of unfulfilled longings.

"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good. I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Thy works." Ps. 73:28

Worship Moment

I know I've mentioned a number of times that my life is getting ready to change. I hate being vague and soon I'll be able to share a little more of what that involves. In the interim, I feel the need to share that the feelings surrounding this change are at times sad and frustrating as much as they are exciting and hopeful. Lately I have found myself a little more caught up in the saddness of it and a little bit concerned about what the outcome looks like. The other day as I offered this to the Lord, He shared something with me from Deuteronomy 11:8-12:

Keep every command I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to cross into and possess the land you are to inherit, and so that you may live long in the land the LORD swore to your fathers to give them and their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey. For the land you are entering to possess is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you sowed your seed and irrigated by hand as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are entering to possess is a land of mountains and valleys, watered by rain from the sky. It is a land the LORD your God cares for. He is always watching over it from the beginning to the end of the year.

I found myself encouraged by these words. It seems that the Lord is reminding me that He is not only good and is able to provide for me, but He can provide well. I don't need to fret about the outcome. He's the One leading me along this road. This morning in my time with Jesus I was reminded of some lyrics from the Sheryl Crow song, Diamond Road. I know it sounds like a funny thing to say that worship came from it, but her words truly expressed to Jesus my heart and the sometimes aches it's prone to lately. And, as much as this expressed my heart to Him, I was even more sure I could hear Him speaking words back, "Don't miss the diamonds along this road, Blythe. Keep the eyes of your heart on Me. I'm trailblazing this road."

7 Things--Tagged

Hey! I’ve been tagged by Rick at Mmm…That’s Good Coffee. (Copy these seven things into your post, answer them, and then tag 7 others.)

Seven things to do before I die:
1) Go on an actual vacation.
2) Be a published author.
3) See as much of the world as I can.
4) Own a coffee shop.
5) My checkbook.
6) Own a car whose year is in the same decade I actually live in.
7) Fall in love.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1) Dance
2) Watch any movie that has live, talking (yes, moving their mouths) animals kind of movies. Creeps me out.
3) Math in my head.
4) Touch my nose with my tongue.
5) Watch Kevin Costner movies.
6) Go back to junior high. (Thank You, Lord!)
7) Get married before I’m 30.

Seven Things That Attract Me to My Mate:
(Uh, Blythe here. For us singles…seven things that you’re looking for in mate, I guess.)
1) Major heart relationship with Jesus!
2) Heart to serve the Lord and doing it in some capacity.
3) Laughs with me, at me (when appropriate!), and makes me laugh.
4) Adventurous heart and willing to take some risks.
5) Good teeth.
6) Not finicky – will eat whatever I cook (and believe me, he LOVES to eat what I cook!)
7) Looks uncannily like Brad Paisley. I know, I can’t believe it either!

Seven Things I Say:
1) Do you understand what I’m saying?
2) Does that make sense?
3) Hey gal.
4) Ha-larious.
5) No waaay!
6) That’s crazy.
7) For shizzle. (Not really. I just couldn’t think of another one.)

Seven People Tagged:
1) Jill
2) Alethea
3) Joy Hennin
4) Correnta
5) Eaglewing
6) Susanne
7) Sista Louisa

Overheard: New Favorite Movie Quote

"You better be glad yo' at church cause Jesus done saaaved your life! Hallaluer!" (Madea's Family Reunion)

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Single Issues

I don't necessarily want to use my blogdom to get on a soapbox about any particular issue, but this article from Christianity Today was in my inbox today exploring the question, "So, Why Aren't You Married?". If you're single and wrestle with this, or are curious what today's single might be stigmatized with, have a read. I found it quite encouraging.

Scene from a Coffee Shop

Man just walked into coffeehouse sporting fanny pack. (Again, I ask, Stacy and Clinton, where are you???)

Same man just ordered a mocha with a shot of salmonella.

No, wait. That was some vanilla.

The things you hear when you're only half listening.

Next Gilmore Girls Writer?

You're a Dialogue/Character Writer!


What kind of writer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Blogdom: Creating Significant Community?

There seems to be a developing conversation stemming from recent posts and comments on various blogs I’m reading surrounding questions of our motivations in our blogging, blog “stalking” (voraciously reading other people’s blogs either anonymously or known), or blog blogging (writing significant comments on one another’s blogs or discovering new realizations in your comment that might otherwise been a blog post on your own blog). Okay, I’m getting the feeling that I’m on the cusp of developing the first ever Blog language…

ANYway, the question has been raised, are we (the women who are living out previous said paragraph) using this as a replacement for something lacking in our lives…whether that be a spouse, or community, or a venue for processing and being heard.

The question of my own recent attraction to this new world of blogging has been stirring in my own head and heart for over a month now. What is it that I’m finding within the html code that I’m not finding in my own current life? Is it just a mere lack of the social life that plagues nearly every single woman in ministry? (“All work and no play sure make Blythe a dull girl”?) Is it a means of escape from an otherwise uneventful life? Is it a lack of really feeling heard well by people and knowing that my thoughts have value?

I guess my most recent thought is, what if it’s not about what’s lacking in our lives? What if it’s about finding something? Maybe even more like stumbling on some new treasure that we never knew existed – a treasure of sort being found in other people’s lives and perspectives that enlarge our own in some way. It kind of makes me feel like I’m not as alone and disconnected….that maybe my heart, my life and my thoughts are of great value and theirs to my own.

Awhile back I watched the new movie Shall We Dance? There’s a part in the movie where Susan Sarandon’s character is explaining to the detective she’s hired about what marriage is:

People get married because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet. What does any one life really mean? But in a marriage you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it. Every time. Everyday. You’re saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.” (Susan Sarandon, Shall We Dance)

I think this statement less describes marriage as it does a fundamental desire of the human heart…to be known deeply and to know that your life amounts to something. Even deeper than that desire is that I think we want someone to catch it! We want to be seen. We don’t want other people to miss out on what we bring and offer to the world. Of course, as women maybe this may be just the deep question we’ll always be wrestling with, you know? (For more thoughts on this, check out Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.)

I think my blogging, blog hopping, blog stalking, blog blogging (oh good grief!) all kind of reveal that my heart wants to be heard and seen. I want to know that my thoughts, my heart has value and at the same time they resonate with someone else or cause them to think in new ways. So, for me right now, it’s not about replacing as it is discovering. And I’m loving every minute of it.

Engaging Fear

A couple of posts ago I shared about a family circumstance that tied in to some things I’m currently learning about stepping into the unknown and facing fear. Today as I was reading more in The Insider, I was challenged by Jim Petersen’s thoughts on embracing fear – not just facing it or acknowledging it, but entering into it boldly. He’s speaking, of course, about fears as they pertain to moving toward people in sharing spiritual things, but it spoke to me about fear in general:

Our fears can lead us into greater sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Following God’s leading inevitably puts us in frightening situations. He is bound to take us into things that are way over our head – into things only he can do. It has to be that way. How else would we learn about him? If we just stick to those things we could do anyway, where would the ‘God factor’ be? If we refuse to follow him into such places, we will remain spiritually impoverished. We will never mature. We can either make our fears work for us, or we can let them debilitate us. If we accept our fears, taking them to Christ, they will lead us into a more mature faith. But we will never run out of fears. There is always the smell of fear around the school of faith! (99)

Petersen links fear and faith together. That really encourages me. I think sometimes I can fall into a manner of thinking that all fear has to be eliminated before I can take that step of faith. Well, Lord, I think You’re telling me to do this. If You’ll just line out the specifics, I’ll step in that direction, knowing this is You. Sound familiar?

Again, I am thinking about those Israelites facing the Promised Land (Deut. 1-4). Whether they had gone into the land upon first arrival or 40 years later, they still had to embrace fear. One way or the other, if they wanted to experience the abundant life the Lord was promising, they had to engage fear – the activity thereof is faith. And faith is a pursuit that reflects a heart that trusts God not only with what He says, but the outcome of the unknown as well.

How to Know if You Have B.A.S. (Blog Addiction Syndrome)

1. Do you check your favorite blogs at least once every hour?
2. Do you frequent your favorite of favorite blogs every 20 minutes?
3. Do you post comments to people’s blogs and check back fairly regularly to see if they’ve commented back?
4. Do you have tendonitis of the wrist from the constant mouse movement up and down your bookmarks list?
5. How often do you find yourself dropping the phrase “my blog” in casual conversation?
6. Do you find yourself scanning through Blogger through the random blogs in the hopes of discovering the next new and upcoming Blog talent?
7. Do you attempt to get some actual work done and find yourself writing a survey for B.A.S.?

If you can answer "yes" to most of the above, chances are you've got it. But, you're in good company. Let's all practice together:

Yes, my name is [insert name] and I’m a Blog addict.

Now, if I can just turn this post into a possible spec for House (some weird disease for blog addicts?), I’d have something to show for myself today.

SFM (Single Female Moment)

I originally had no intention of blogging this unsettling meditation. Maybe I’ve recently developed a snag in my internet filter or maybe I’ve just become internet brazen, but I’m posting this despite the little nagging voice on my right shoulder. For those of you who are easily unsettled by female emotions, words like “tears” and “heart” are used. You may want to wait till the post drops out of immediate view. Please consider this fair warning.

Tonight I attended an engagement party for one of my best friends. Before she ever went out on her first date with this guy, I knew that he was the one for her. She's gone out with a number of different guys since I've known her, but this one -- just knew it was her "one."

Around the beginning of the relationship I wrestled with discontent and feelings of being overlooked or gypped by God. Through the struggle and the hurt I asked the Lord to help me genuinely enter into the joy of this new relationship with her. After all, I love my friend and the last thing I wanted was to be the self-centered, whiner friend who has no thought beyond what she is lacking in her own life, you know?

The Lord in His kindness allowed me to do just that. Enter in. Enjoy it with her. Weep with her when it was complicated and hard. Laugh and giggle with her as she recounted silly things he’d say or did. Listen when she needed an ear to offer a perspective outside of herself.

In all honesty it has been fun. It’s been exciting to join up with her in journey. I’m grateful that the Lord crossed our paths at this point in our lives and that we got to do life together for awhile. She in turn has shaped a significant part of my own journey these last four years.

Despite all this, I discovered an untapped piece of my heart on the drive home from the City. As I recalled the night’s festivities, complete with the recounting of the whirlwind storybook proposal weekend in New York City, tears began to spill over. They caught me off guard. I knew they weren’t tears of joy but of pain.

What was the deal? I asked myself. I’m truly happy for her! Have I been mistaken? Have I missed an underlying discontent? Has my heart fooled me into believing I was more okay with all this than I am?

No, my heart wept. My pain is for your change…and the lack of celebration you feel.

Oh, yes. My change. Both my friend and I are stepping into life changes. Her change brings celebration. My change…feels tainted by sadness.

I wish I could say that in discovering all this, my heart immediately took courage and claimed a number of well-seasoned Promises. Not tonight. For tonight, I think I’m fine with just letting my heart rest in the discovery. Afterall, tears may come for the night, but joy comes in the morning...

Stir Crazy

While I’ve enjoyed the inclement weather immensely, this morning I started to get a little antsy. All that snow and sleet I mentioned previously forced me to stay inside for the entirety of the weekend. Literally. The other night after coming back home, the ice had become so bad (and the traction on my tires is completely worn) that I couldn’t get my car back up the drive into my garage! So, for the last two days my car has sat forlornly in the street outside my house.

Determined to emerge from my cave today and head for my heaven on earth (a.k.a. my newest coffee house find), I set about the overwhelming task of trying to move my car.

Tires spun. Interesting smells wafted. Menacing sounds threatened.

After several minutes of switching between drive, reverse, neutral and trying trick my tires into finding some patch of dry concrete to adhere to, I finally got my car to leave her temporary curbside habitat. Of course, none of this went unnoticed by the guy 2 houses down who had let his dog out and was watching with some amusement. (Single woman side rant: was there some sign on my forehead that said, “No, really. I’m the female Jeff Gordon. Got it all under control. Thanks anyway.” Sometimes a little help is all a gal’s asking for. Sigh.)

Currently, I’ve left all of my cares behind as I enjoy some good coffee house time. Ella’s crooning over the speakers; I’m typing away surrounded by a plethora of books on a variety of subjects; and I’m watching people pass by through the big picture window looking out on my little town's Main Street. The view’s exactly like the one in You’ve Got Mail when Meg Ryan’s sitting at the window in Starbucks reading Pride and Prejudice. Very charming. If you’re ever in my little corner, we’ll pay a visit.

Crokinole: A Curling Commentary Followup

Thanks to a comment from a new blogging friend in Canada, I was given some insight into the probable evolution of curling. I have been informed that curling has many similarities to crokinole, a game that has its origins in Canada. Curious, I did a little research and thought I’d educate us all in the spirit of becoming a more well-rounded blogging community…

Apparently, crokinole involves a wood octagon shaped board where you try to 'shoot' your discs into the center hole or knock your opponents discs off the board. You earn points depending on how close to center the disc is. Only one team can have points at any given time. Says Eaglewing, “It's a fun game when you have a few people gathered around. Shooting the discs with your fingers is probably the hardest part, though using sticks is preferred by some. There's some strategy, but accuracy is more important. Everybody develops their own technique.”

Ah yes, this seems very close to what unfolded before me yesterday morning…only on ice. Further thought on the subject has also reminded me that the game of marbles of days gone by or shuffleboard have their own similarities to curling as well.

Other crokinole facts of note…

1. While not a Mennonite or Amish originated game, “crokinole has been very popular among many Mennonite and Amish sects throughout Canada and the United States by reason of the fact that the game was viewed as a rather innocuous pastime – unlike the perception that diversions such as card playing or dancing were 'works of the Devil' as held by many 19th century Protestant groups.” Certainly good to know as I’m stuck here in the Bible belt.
2. Crokinole is one of the few games that can have a high finger injury rate. This is due to the improper use of the finger. If you are experiencing finger pain, here’s a little tip: “the secret of an accurate, pain-free shot is to move your finger up as close to the disc as possible. Don't hit it. Push it!!! Get that finger up really close. Take aim and shoot. Pain will not be a factor, even-as some believe-if you hit the post with your disc. Get your fingernail right on the disc. You will have more accurate shots and no pain.” Uh, I'm going to take the classy route here and refrain from comment.
   
3. If you’re looking for a new game that uses special lubricants, waxes, or powder substances, crokinole might be the game for you. Supposedly, there is an on-going debate amongst crokinolists as what really is acceptable here. Most crokinole purists, however, condemn the use of such products. Although a crokinole virgin, I must concur. In any pursuit I would always embrace the purity. It’s why my coffee is always black! (If I’m drinking coffee that has been enhanced with anything, it’s a reflection of the coffee, not the experience. Yes, “My name is Blythe and I am a coffee snob.”)

An Olympic Appeal
All this research and thinking has brought me to some definite conclusions. Based on current research, I have officially decided curling is not an Olympic sport. However, I’m not one to fight battles just to fight battles. “Curling: Sport or No” is not a hill on which to die, wouldn’t you agree?

So, realizing that no one cares what I think about what is sport-worthy or not, I suggest we make some appeals to the Olympic committee for adding some other events that are lacking in “sport.” I think it would lessen the glaring embarrassment for curling, don’t you? What if we suggested adding marbles, or underwater basketing weaving, or billards, or poker (does anyone else think the shocking amount of poker tournaments on tv is ridiculous?), or tv surfing…

Curling: Some Olympic Commentary

Was reading some other friends posts about the Olympics and felt the need to get in on the conversation – especially after I had myself earlier this morning been flipping through the channels (never anything really exciting to be found on Saturday mornings) and landed on CNBC which was following a curling match between the U.S. and Germany. I was excited to stumble upon it because right before the Olympics kicked off, I remember Katie Couric doing an interview with the U.S. Curling team and I wanted to try and catch some of the event during the Olympics. I’ve always been a little intrigued by it. I remember it being a topic of major conversation when they added it to the winter tier of the Olympics because its fans were excited that it was finally being recognized for the sport it is.

So, I watched it for some time this morning and am a little confused. What about it is sport-ish? Granted, it looked like there was some strategy to it. But, I’m left feeling a little bit gypped on the athletic prowess element. I mean, isn’t that what the Olympics are about? Whether a team or individual event, isn’t the Olympics kind of the granddaddy of supreme amateur athleticism?

While I was engrossed in trying to understand curling (I am, if nothing, a gal who desires a well-rounded athletic awareness), a commentator lauded the fact that the best thing about this “sport” (yes, I’ve got to go with the air quotes here – still unconvinced of its sport-worth) was the fact that you could actually get into the curlers' heads. (Out loud giggle here – do you think that’s what they’re called?...Okay, so full on laugh out loud here! I’m even too ridiculous for myself.) What other "sport" lets you do that, he asked. He said that wouldn’t it be great if we could hear the strategy of our favorite football team up close and personal like that…or hear what is actually going on in their heads. At first thought, it sounds kind of cool, but on second thought, I’m a pretty good lip reader and I’ve seen blips of what comes out of my favorite team players/coaches mouths at certain critical times. Pretty confident that the whole thing would be ruined for me if I really knew what they were thinking…

Okay, so this post is ending up being more of a fizzled ramble than a stand up rant.

Did I tell you it is SNOWING here?

snow...Snow...SNOW!

Last night I spent some good quality time with some dear friends. It was really good to be able to share deeply from our hearts, the struggles we’re going through, the joys our hearts are embracing, and where we find God in the midst of all of it. It was interesting to note that despite the fact that our journeys have encountered different obstacles along the way, we both found that we needed to keep our eyes on the Lord and who He says He rather limit our vision to our circumstances. Our God is not too small, you know?

Somewhere around midnight I left my friends’ house. What a surprise to step outside into SNOW! While we were inside chatting over nice cups of hot tea, my little corner of the world was being pelted with sleet and a dusting of snow. What a surprise after such a warm winter – 2 days ago it was in the upper 60s! This morning I’m enjoying the backyard view of white. Supposedly there’s more to come later on today. I adore cold days like this! Such a perfect excuse for curling up on the couch with a mug of hot coffee and a good book or movie. Yeah, God! Thanks for the snow!!!

New Coffee House Find

Today while spending some good catch up time with a gal, I explored a new coffee shop in my little corner of the world. It was a delightful way to spend an afternoon after having lunch together at an equally delightful new Thai restaurant. Good Thai food, good coffee, and good conversation is the nearest thing to heaven in my estimation!

Also, stumbled onto a new thought:

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

I can definitely assert that I'm closing in on substantial...very eager to see what's around the corner!

Facing Fear

Tonight I received a phone call from a family member sharing deeply troubling news. The news was not new news necessarily – as a family we’ve often received that same kind of news at various and significant times in our journey as a family. Although the outcomes during these times were at times emotionally hard, the Lord has always led us, provided for us and comforted us. Indeed, it is a comforting thought to look back and know that the Lord is in control and He is good. In spite of that, however, this recent news still left me with the thought of, “Seriously, Lord??? Are we really here again???”

Not soon after this thought I was reminded of my time in the Word these past few mornings in Deuteronomy 1-4. As the time is nearing to head into the Promised Land, Moses is recounting the steps that led this people into their 40-year wilderness wanderings. It was a journey that was only supposed to be 11 days. Despite hearing the Lord’s promise of giving them this land, and the report from the scouts that the land was indeed all that the Lord said and more, the Israelites chose to make a decision based on what they could see – the seemingly mighty Amorites and the ever more terrorizing giants in the land – and they embraced fear.

Actually, I think the key word/phrase used here is the scouts became discouraged and in turn discouraged the rest of the Israelites with their report. In the Hebrew, to discourage or to lose heart is the idea of releasing the hand. A lose grip causes you to relinquish the surety of whatever was in your grip to begin with. The Israelites had the word of the Lord promising them this great land (surety). When their gaze fell upon the possibilities/circumstances that could prevent them from entering the land (loosened grip), they forgot the character of the God who promised the land in the first place (abandoned surety).

And after forty years of wandering…we’re here again. Have the circumstances changed? Seems that they still have to cross over into that land. Seems that the Amorites and the giants are still there. Seems that the potential to lose heart in face of those circumstances is still very real. And yet the God who promised the land in the first place is unchanged – He’s still in control and He’s still good: “For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this immense wilderness. The Lord your God has been with you this past 40 years, and you have lacked nothing” (Deut. 2:7). Even in their wandering, the Lord takes care of His kids.

So, in my family, yes, we’re here again. And while the circumstances seemingly haven’t changed, I am choosing to embrace the Lord and the courage He gives to walk into the unknown. And it is the prayer I am praying for my family tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day

This came via email from a friend. Her son is a great little guy and this valentine heart deeply blessed me today.

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Be restored, be encouraged, be of the same mind, be at peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with all of you. (2 Cor. 13:11-13)

Need. Coffee. Now.

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

"Oh, I can't stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words putting-into-sentence doing." -- Lorelai Gilmore

Recurring Thoughts...

This might be a little strange to throw out into the blog-abyss, but a common recurring thought for me is that the earth is dying. Usually this reflection is brought on by thinking about the many unexplainable and unexpected natural disasters that leave their marks various places upon our earth…volcanoes erupting, tsunamis eradicating, hurricanes conquering, tornadoes devastating. Sometimes these thoughts are stimulated by driving over bridges that once ushered you to the other side of impressive rivers or massive lakes which now merely showcase shriveled tributaries. And sometimes they’re brought on by extreme changes in weather – great warmth to biting cold – much like the severe wind and cold of the past two days in my little corner of the world.

I am always a little surprised when people react to these disasters or seemingly abnormal changes with shock or surprise. I mean, our earth really is dying. The fact that the earth is passing away before our eyes points out to me that 1) a restored creation was not meant for this kind of living space, and that 2) according to Matthew 24, Christ’s return is imminent.

Yesterday as I battled the cutting cold winds (and what are now becoming abnormal February conditions), I found myself in the “earth is dying” frame of mind. And I must confess that it left me sad. At first I didn’t understand why it had affected me so – I mean, the fact that Christ is making His way back soon and will usher His kids into eternity free of all these earthly impediments should cause great joy, right?

Yes. It should.

As I took a deeper look in, I realized something shocking behind the sadness…I didn’t want to celebrate Christ’s return before I had a chance to realize the picture that I have for my earthly life. You know, the one that includes romance, and marriage, and family, and the house in the suburbs…with all of it of course, packaged very neatly in the box of glorifying God and pleasing Him. Grand picture and nothing wrong with the desire of it…but it caught me off guard to think that deep within there’s this drive that would say to Jesus, “please don’t come back before I get to do this or that,” you know?

Even now I’m still not sure what to do with my heart here except to own it and offer it back to Him...

Ah...the Powerful Tug of Vanity

I've seen this on a few blogs and was curious about my own blog worth.

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

Do they have counseling groups for poor blog-esteem?

Week in Review

Wow. Can’t believe over a week has gone by since my last post! Since Friday last week, life has been full! For those of you who care to know what this gal’s been up to, here are a few highlights:

Babypalooza
Spent last weekend with some old college gal pals celebrating the upcoming arrival of Baby Girl Barton by throwing a baby shower. Boy, did she make out on the gifts! Got to see the baby’s room. Cute, huh? So delightful, I wanted to move into the room myself! It was a refreshing weekend hanging out with old friends. Some good times and laughs were had by all.

Two Days by the Toilet
No need to go into any elaboration here, but somehow ended up with the stomach stuff that has been making the rounds to start the week off! Not fun.

Auntie Training
Wanting to serve some ministry colleagues who lost a family member this week, I hung out with their 3-year old for the day along with some of the gals I meet with on Thursdays. Personally, I figured it’d be some good prep for me since becoming a first-time aunt is just around the corner as well as just a fun change of pace for the gals. We watched Lord of the Beans – HA-larious!! Never seen it before. Then we hit McDonald’s for the playland and the $1 Happy Meal. (Evidently Thursdays are Happy Meal Thursdays. This was knew news to me. Spread the word.) And, we made some attempts to stay in potty training mode. I had no idea how consuming potty training is! I’m not sure how many times I asked this poor child about his bathroom needs! Sure hope he’s not permanently scarred. I think out of 10 attempts, we made 2 of them. And, boy, did we party!

Chinese for Dinner
Then last night I hung out with these same ministry colleagues and helped to entertain a group of Chinese students who are here briefly for a cultural exchange. We made personal pizzas – very fun idea to do with international students, by the way – practiced English, and played with Hudson. Hudson was the huge hit of the evening. At one point he had all the students on the floor around his parent’s wedding album and was explaining the pictures in his best Hudson-ese. Very entertaining way to spend a Friday evening.

Flirt 'em to Jesus?

One of things we're working on with the group of students that myself and another couple work with on a weekly basis is sharing Christ with the relationships that He puts in our everday sphere. We're reading The Insider by Jim Petersen together and trying to implement its ideas. And as a team, we've committed to figuring out specific initiatives we can take toward these people He puts into our lives and actually do them.

Because it seems that I live in ministry bubble at times, I've been trying to apply this to really taking initiative with the people the Lord crosses my path with at the certain places I frequent. While not at all a normal part of my routine, today I had to make a stop at the UPS store. Braced with my resolve to take initiatives with people I approached the UPS clerk trying to actively engage him in conversation. We had a lot of fun just chatting and asking each other questions and I'm thinking, "This is great. I can do this initiative thing!"

But it was as I was driving away that I also remembered a segment that ran on The Today Show this morning: "Tips for Flirting." Huh. It hit me that the poor UPS guy might have just thought I was flirting with him.

Oh, dear.

Album Covers

I can take no credit for the goofy album covers. Thanks, Dan, for sharing! Your sense of humor blesses me!

I dedicate this album to my dad's side of the family.

Well, why not? Nothing else has seemed to help. 

No comment. 

An album that reflects how I feel in general today. 

Painful Packages

Have been thinking a lot about the Lord’s “packages” – those maybe surprising and/or painful gifts He allows into our lives for the purposes and whys that He, for some reason, lovingly omits. Or, it could be, that these packages might be promises that He’s very much spoken to our hearts and yet the way they work out doesn’t exactly fit into the “picture” we invest much energy into after receiving said certain promise. Or, in my case, the package could be an answer to a question you’ve been asking Him for quite some time, but the answer comes in a painful package rather than in the ornately wrapped package of scripture (the kind, I personally like best!)

Anyway, a friend and I were visiting around this recently and we were reminded of Naaman in 2 Kings who had leprosy and was told to seek out Elisha for healing. Upon hearing from his Israelite servant girl that there was a prophet in Samaria who could heal him, Naaman goes to the king of Aram who writes a letter to the king of Israel and asks that he’d heal Naaman. At his request the king of Israel flips out and tears his robes – (probably fearing major war or death because of being asked to do something he couldn’t do and failed to recognize his God could do, I might add).

Word gets back to Elisha about the king of Israel’s response and he tells him to send Naaman to himself. So, Naaman, buoyed by hope of healing, I imagine, sets out to find this man of God. But upon approaching Elisha, Naaman is greeted with a “Just go wash yourself seven times in the river and you’ll be healed.”

The funny thing is Naaman’s response – furious at Elisha’s words he says to himself, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than any of the waters of Israel? Couldn't I wash in them and be cleansed?” So he turned and went off in a rage. His servants, aware that he could be making a huge mistake, stopped him and asked him to reconsider: “My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, ‘Wash and be cleansed’!” He listened to his servants appeal and did what Elisha told him and he was completely restored (2 Kings 5:11-14).

Naaman almost missed being completely healed. And why? Because his picture of healing wasn’t what God had in mind. Naaman had the “I thought that he would…” response. And that picture…that pride almost caused him to miss a huge gift of God.

The Lord’s kindnesses and gifts upon our lives are not always gift wrapped in ways that are appealing, you know? No, I don’t want to dismiss the pain. Pain is definitely valid and has its place and purpose in our lives. So, I do want to feel it and enter into it openly and honestly before Him. But I want it to be shaped by His perspective, knowing that sometimes it’s possible to look at events and circumstances in our lives, get caught up in the wrapping and lose sight of the real gift inside.

So, yes, right now the package has been painful…but the gift is amAzing!